I wasn't sure I would survive this far, but my midwestern stubborn streak won out over the desperate urge to eat...anything. I haven't eaten (or craved) a bagel in 8 years and I woke up dreaming of a warm, blueberry bagel slathered with cream cheese. Last night I received some good-natured ribbing from friends out at a local steakhouse. Pictures of their Lynchburg Lemonades, giant steaks and baked potatoes. It was really the WRONG day for that kind of ribbing and I did not take it well. This is desperately hard. I went to bed hungry last night for the third day in a row. Not just hungry. But starving. So being flashed images of real food didn't sit well with me. I'm normally a cheery person and can take just about anything that comes at me. But I am cranky. Hypoglybitchy, as my husband calls it.
I did not weigh in this morning, forced myself to avoid the scales. I ate so much last night, all onions and peppers and tomatoes and I still feel bloated from it. Starving at bedtime, bloated in the morning. It is illogical and there is nothing fun about this.
I shake off the funk and drink a 24 oz glass of water, and concoct something palatable out of my two allowed ingredients for day four...bananas, and milk. I feel like I've fooled the system because the BFF wisely suggested that if I put the two together and create a banana shake, it might feel like cheating. So I do. I add a tsp of Splenda for taste, toss in some ice and blend up a delightful breakfast. And filling. I could barely get it all down.
Being the 4th of July holiday, my husband and I used the time wisely and were out working on our flip house before 7am. Its a scorcher with temps in the triple digits before noon, so we got there early, finished early, and were home by 11. Still some good exercise and plenty of sweating. But then I spent the rest of the day completely useless. I took two bananas with me, but didn't need them. Downed a good 64 oz of water while working, so am already over my allotment for the day.
Really, I just want to take an Ambien that will let me sleep until day 6...beef day.
I have another banana shake at noon, even though I'm not hungry. I don't want to GET hungry. The milk protein clearly makes a difference in the appetite. Two giant bananas and 8 oz of milk with a little Splenda. Again, amazingly filling.
It's about now that last night's meatless fajita overload starts to fully attack my system. Or maybe it's more of the 'cleanse' effect. Each trip to the bathroom is more 'productive' than the last. And my pee smells like onions. At least a dozen bowel movements today. When the onions and peppers have cleared the pipes, the bananas are next. And I can tell you, bananas may go in as a shake, but come out as liquid. Seriously, I feel like I have the stomach flu. Except without the nausea.
I sleep most of the afternoon. Really just because I don't have much to do, and the work this morning was labor-intensive and the heat exhausting. Around 6, I have my last shake. I top this one off with a tablespoon of cocoa powder along with the Splenda. It rolls through me like...well again, I'll stick with the stomach flu concept. That's really as graphic as I want to get.
Clearly, there is NOTHING in my system after that last visit to the bathroom about 8:30 pm. I suppose this is the part of the diet where things are to turn around and your body has 'learned' that you're not going to put anything in it that it can burn for fuel, so it must start burning fat.
At least I hope so.
I smile about 9:00 and turn to my spousal unit and say 'I get to have BEEF tomorrow.' 20 oz of beef and six tomatoes. But I've never looked forward to waking up just for food before. I am such a carnivore and living without meat all week has been the most difficult thing for me.
More than that, I'm looking forward to Friday. Friday I can eat as much beef as I want.
I soldier on...
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